To be happy:

iamnotwolverine:

I don’t need a fancy car, or a fancy house. I don’t even really want those things. I want a car with a heater, and a car that doesn’t make funky ass embarrassing noises. As for my home, I want something cozy. I refuse to live in a house that’s cold feeling when you walk into it. I want a home that’s lived in and people feel comfortable coming to my house, unannounced, ready to hang out. I don’t need three spare bedrooms and three baths. I need a bedroom for me and my dude…

If and when I decide to have a boyfriend, that is.. I decided that I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. I quite like being single and I feel like I’m more myself than I’ve ever been now that I AM single. Maybe one day I’ll find someone who I can share that with, but I don’t think I’ve found that person yet. Maybe I have and I just don’t know it yet. I like living by my own standards. I should do that anyway, but I know when I’m with someone, I’m going to compromise things I want to do, things I want to have… because of the other person’s wants and needs. It’s a way of life. That’s part of love, in my opinion. As for now, I’m 21 years old, god damnit. I want to come and go as I please. I want to answer to myself. I like having people to care about, and I like having someone I can spend the night with, but I’m just not ready.. no, no. I’m ready. I’m not willing to give up some of my freedoms. I can spend my money all on me. As one of my best friend’s sister said to me tonight, “You don’t have any more train tickets to buy.” Damn right. I didn’t mind at the time when I was doing it, because I was in love and it got me to see the man I loved, but looking back, that’s over a thousand dollars in travel money. I don’t regret it in any way, but I don’t want to spend that money right now on another relationship that I’m only kinda sorta into. Anyway, I digress…

In my home I’ll have a bedroom for me, a bathroom with a clawfoot tub and other regular bathroom necessities…, a small kitchen (I don’t need a lot of space), a dining room with a big table (for family and friends to eat at, and to play games at), a living room with couches for people to crash on, and a tv for movies and video games… I’d like to have a studio, or at least a spare room in the house to do my art. Maybe even just a finished garage or basement. I picture a very quaint house. Old. Small rooms, so everyone is close together, but everyone’s happy. That’s so important to me, I can’t stop talking about it. I’m a happy person, I like making people happy. I refuse to be unhappy when I’m older.

I’m a happy person now. I have great friends that I get to see and hang out with. I have a relatively normal family life. I get along with my brothers, which is the most important thing to me. I know my family will always be there for me, no matter how badly I’ve fucked up. That’s huge. I know if for whatever reason I can no longer stay at my house with my parents, I can call up any one of my aunts or uncles or cousins and I can stay with them for a bit. I thought about it today in the shower… I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to have my brothers’ families over for Christmas and to have all the cousins and nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and great grandparents together. I fucking love my family, that’s part of what makes me so happy.

I’m doing what I love. Art. Music. Math. I love knowledge. I love learning about new things. I’m getting my degree in art, and eventually even plan on getting my masters in art degree. I’m taking math classes over the summer for fun. I enjoy it, and I enjoy challenging myself, so I’m going to better myself and my life. I may even decide on continuing on with math as well as art. I’m also playing more violin, which makes me really happy. I played the other night when Ken was here because he wanted to hear me play. I was nervous at first, but knew I was good, and just sort of let go of all my vices and played pretty great.

I’m excited for this upcoming semester. My friend Mike told me that college is about making people into students. You learn to become a student. Some people start college and are really good at it. Me, on the other hand… well. I’m learning to become a student, and I’m only getting better. This semester is going to be my semester. I have a fantastic schedule, and I’m really going to buckle down. I’m excited to kickass and I want to prove I’m smart. To myself. If I get straight As, or at least work 110% for straight As, well. I know I’ll be in good shape to move out and go to school out of state next year.

I’ve kind of lost my wind for writing right now. I have work at 10:30, my alarm is set for 7:45. I plan on showering and grabbing some breakfast and/or coffee. Anyway, hope you all have a lovely night and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. <3

http://www.formspring.com/forms/?724236-UbO497yfl9

This is hands down one of the best posts I’ve ever read on Tumblr. If I could like this twice, I would. It’s so great to see someone full of joy, optimism, desire, ambition and dedication. Makes me happy to know you’re happy Sam. Goodnight! :-)

Reoccurring Dreams:

iamnotwolverine:

• I always have dreams that I’m underwater, and I’m scared to breathe, but what I take a breath I realize I can breathe underwater and it’s the coolest feeling ever.
• Also, I always dream that I’m wearing my retainer again, you know, dental shit. I had retainers when I was young, and then had braces for 2 or 3 years, and then wore retainers for a year maybe. Anyway, I dream I’m wearing the retainers and they never fit in my mouth right.
• Dreams of me being taken hostage, or being chased

Sorry, dream analysis time:

• You’re feeling distant from the rest of the world, and you’re comfortable with that.
• You’re wanting to heal or fix a problem relating to self-expression or self-nourishment (physical, emotional or mental).
• Being taken hostage can represent:
  • Fear of physical, mental or emotional attack, or of being a victim of ill will.
  • Feeling or fearing someone or something trying to force their will or motives onto you, or feeling victimised, manipulated, or like someone is trying to limit or take away your personal power.
  • An authority in your real life that feels overbearing or oppressive.

Dreams are a really interesting study, it’s a tap into the subconscious part of your mind. I believe they say a lot about a person and how they feel/what’s on their mind.